What’s sad is, becuz he got turned into a werewolf, when Garth dies he’ll go to purgatory, which is a lot like Hell.
my favorite mythical creatures are the happy girls in tampon commercials
In a parallel universe there are doppelgangers of ourselves, living our lives over there, but not everything is exactly the same. Here is what may be going on in a parallel universe right now.
My wonderful nieces on Easter :)
tiny ginny weasley, growing up with six brothers, deathly afraid of being branded “girly”, because “girly” from the sneering mouths of fred and george meant weak, inadequate, pathetic
ginny weasley at eight years old, sick of her hair flowing down to her bottom, sick of tying it into plaits and pigtails, grabbing a pair of scissors and chopping it all off with messy hacks - then molly was gasping, snatching the scissors from her grasp, yelling at her and mourning her “beautiful, beautiful” hair
ginny weasley at twelve years old, fresh from the horrors of her first year and accepting her dorm-mate’s mascara. after everything that happened, she’s trying to make friends, and her dorm-mates are trying too. so she takes the mascara wand and, for the first time, applies it. it’s clumpy and uneven but her dorm-mates help her perfect it - it’s girly and feminine and against everything she’s ever stood for, against the reputation she had built at the burrow, but she kind of likes the dark weight on her eyelashes
ginny weasley slowly recognising and destroying her internalised misogyny as she progresses through hogwarts - ginny weasley embracing makeup and quidditch in equal measures, ginny weasley burping the alphabet and squeezing into the tiniest of skirts, ginny weasley being stark and cold and fearsome as well as giggly and sweet and flirty. ginny weasley standing up for the tomboys of hogwarts as well as the girliest of girls. don’t fuck with girl-power ginny weasley or you’ll be bat-bogey hexed into next week.
HEY HEY HEY HEYYYYYYYY MY FAVORITE QUEER DRUNK ASSHOLE POET TURNED 450 TODAY (and let me tell you, there is a lot of competition for the title “favorite queer drunk asshole poet”)
BUT as we all know, there is some controversy over who ACTUALLY wrote shakespeare’s plays!
so in order to mark this SERIOUS and LEGITIMATE issue, i have compiled the most likely theories in this comprehensive list:
- in julius caesar, cassius says, “this is my birthday; on this very day cassius was born.” on that same day, cassius DIES. guess who else was not only born on april 23, but died april 23?? that’s right, shakespeare. english playwright? or ancient roman ghost bent on revenge? YOU BE THE JUDGE.
- shakespeare married a woman called anne hathaway. BATMAN ALSO MARRIED ANNE HATHAWAY. have you ever seen shakespeare and batman in the same place at the same time??????
- lived in london? totally encountered prostitutes several times? probably spoke english? william shakespeare……. or JACK THE RIPPER
- uh, excuse me, an uneducated glovemaker’s son couldn’t possibly have written the 38 works of art attributed to shakespeare. please consider instead this picture of a cat pushing another cat in a shopping cart. you’re welcome.
- ””“”“”“”“”“president obama????”“”“”“”“” more like PRESIDENT WILLIAMSHAKESPOBAMA. wake UP, america
- ME I’M WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE I HAVE BEEN SHAKESPEARE ALL ALONG AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU FOOLS YOU IGNORANT FOOLS
look at these boots and tell me you dont immediately want to go adventuring in them holy shit i love these shoes so much